“What is happening, why is mom packing? Is she leaving, who is leaving, are we taking a trip?” So many thoughts went through Rose’s head as she watched her mother pack clothes into a suitcase. After finally being told that her parents were divorcing, the question that Rose constantly thought about was, “Is it my fault?”
Was it her fault that her parents were divorcing? Was it her fault that dad was moving out? As a child, did something ever happen in your family and you wondered, “Is it my fault?”
Was it a parent’s divorce, loss of a job, or even the death of a family member? Children often carry the burdens of a family on their shoulders. They may dream about it, worry about it or even misbehave because of it. What parents do not often realize is that behavior is communication?
Children can experience the same emotions as adults, stress, anger or even confusion, but they express it through behavior.
How can you as a parent help your child when there has been a divorce or separation in the family? How do you explain to your child that they are still loved? “Is it my fault: Divorce from a child’s perspective was created for you. Not only does it help you talk to your child about the divorce, but it also includes parent tips. Some of these tips include…
Assure your child both parents still love them.
Assure your child that the divorce is not their fault.
It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your children. They may not need to know every detail but prepare them for a major change before it happens. Speak to them at their level in a way they can understand.
Both parents should continue to show love during the process. Children should not see the expressed anger between the two parents because of the decision they made.
Grieving and healing is a process. It may take kids, as well as the adults some time to get through the process. Be patient.
Rose’s story of her parents’ divorce and more tips can be found in the book. “Is it my fault: Divorce from a child’s perspective” and can be found at www.generationssoar.com.